Candlelight FAQ


We know the fear of the unknown is scary, so we want to put your mind at ease by answering a few questions. 

What is an infertility and loss candlelight?

It’s a safe place for people affected by not being able to conceive, ectopic pregnancy, embryos lost in IVF, miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, SIDS, or failed adoption to come together and acknowledge their grief and honor their babies.

What happens at the candlelight?

We will tell you a little bit about our ministry and resources. Then our guest speakers will share their personal story of infertility and loss. After they speak, we will invite anyone who wants to light a candle to do so. If you are more comfortable staying in your seat and not lighting a candle that is perfectly fine. If you want someone from our team to join you in lighting a candle, we will be happy to do so. We will support whatever you are comfortable with! Our heart is to honor your journey.

What do I wear? 

Wear whatever you are most comfortable in. This service is about honoring you and your grief, not about how you look so come as you are.

Can someone come with me?

Yes-bring extended family or friends.

How long will it last?

One hour

Will childcare be available?

Yes-In an effort to keep a sacred and safe space for all, we ask that if you have a childcare need, please use our free church childcare during the event.  Childcare is for all ages starting at 5 PM.    

What if I have not been directly affected, but I have lost a grandchild, niece, nephew, friend’s baby? Can I come? 

YES. You are welcome to honor babies by lighting candles or honor a family or friend’s grief from the inability to conceive or failed adoption.  

What if we have not been able to conceive is there a place for us? 

YES. We want you to light a candle acknowledging your grief. We also have free resources available to help encourage you.

My story seems different than everyone else. Is there a place for me? 

Yes. We want to honor your story no matter the details. If your story includes singleness, abortion, failed adoption, embryos lost in IVF, being told you may never be able to conceive, being advised medically not to have babies because of a gene mutation, loss of the dream to have a family for any reason, we have a spot for you.

Am I going to have to do something in front of other people?

All that is required of you is to find a seat. If you want to light a candle, we welcome you to do so. If that doesn’t fit where you are in your journey, then take the liberty to remain seated and reflect, pray or grieve in a way that is helpful for you.

I want to come, but I can’t find anyone to go with me. What do I do?

Come and one of our HLH team members will be honored to sit with you and light a candle alongside you.

I can’t make the candlelight, but I would love for you to light candles for us. How can I do that?

PM Britni Julian or message HLH and let us know how many candles. It’s our honor to light them on your behalf. If you would like to provide your contact info, we can send you a picture of your candle.